Listening Now Blog

I’ve been wondering if we all have the same need to be listened to. One of the fundamental mistakes we make in our interactions with others is assuming that what we want is what others want. If I want to talk my problems out loud, surely everyone needs this, too, right? If I need to be quiet and work things through on my own, isn’t that what everyone needs?

What I’ve learned is that just because we have a need for something, it does not mean that even anyone else let alone most everybody else will want that same thing. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid need, it just may not be a shared need.

The first thing to do is be clear on what it is you need. Are you a talk-out-loud kind of person – you literally don’t know what you think or feel until the words come out of your mouth? Or are you more a reflective kind of person – where you need silence and ‘alone time’ to work out what you think and feel?  Most of us use a combination of both talking out loud and reflecting, but we usually do one more often than the other.

Me, I’m a talker. I need to hear my own words coming out of my mouth before I know what I really think and feel about something or someone. I sometimes start in one place and through a process of talking it through out loud, will end up somewhere completely different. This process is not only helpful, but is fun and energising for me.

What I’ve discovered is that this way of communicating can drive some other people into a demented state. All that talking! All that jumping around! It’s maddening. People who are more reflective do their processing (thinking and feeling) on the inside – they don’t talk it out loud as they’re thinking and feeling it. They often need silence and ‘alone time’ to process effectively.

So, does everyone need to be listened to? What I’ve noticed is that everyone needs to be listened to because we all need to process stuff.

And that’s where the idea for I’m Listening Now came from – the creation of a space and place where that processing could happen. If you are more of a talker, you may find the downloadable video chapters work best for you if you can answer out loud. If you are more of a reflector, you may find that pausing the session and thinking your responses through in your head works best. For many people, the process of journaling is the best way to access their inner wisdom.

If you haven’t already, please check it out. Download the video chapters and see what kind of processing works best for you — talking out loud, reflecting, journalling, or a unique combination of all three. Drop me a line and let me know, I’m interested to know. And I’m listening.