Listening Now Blog

An intriguing book in the self help/psychology field is Ernesto Spinelli’s “Demystifying Therapy”. It’s a book that talks about the ethics and power relationships in therapeutic environments, and Dr Spinelli has a lot to say about therapists assuming the role of expert.

Dr Spinelli also did some fascinating research. He gathered data from about 600 clients who believed that they benefited from their therapy (I guess this means that not everybody believes their therapy has benefited them, huh?). And here is what is so fascinating – Spinelli found that the effectiveness of the therapy was not related to the type of therapy used by the therapist. With 600 people in the study, that’s a lot of therapists using a lot of different therapies. In this study, each therapy was effective and ineffective in individual cases.

What Dr Spinelli found in common with the successful cases was only three simple things:

1. “I was able to tell my story”
2. “The therapist listened to me”
3. “The therapist seemed human to me”

I love that number one was “I was able to tell my story”. This tells us something important about the power of being able to tell your story - even if the only one listening is YOU, it is still incredibly powerful to do the telling. (it’s also interesting that #3 is that the “therapist seemed human”…being an actual human may not be all that necessary in therapeutic environments?)

The big message is to trust that the wisdom you need lies within you. Stop looking outside yourself for the answers. Listen to your own story – acknowledge and tell your own story. Tune out the garbage and tune into your inner wisdom – that internal compass that will never lead you astray.

If you believe in the power of being listened to and want to join us here at I’m Listening Now please sign up or refer a friend to us. We’d love to inspire you to spread the word!