Listening Now Blog

A whole website devoted to listening, huh? You may be wondering: so what’s the big deal about listening? Why create a product that has as its goal the provision of a listening ear whenever it’s needed? Who’s ever going to need (or buy) that? Good questions, and thanks for asking them (if your question is really something else, like why did you use turquoise in your logo? please send me feedback and I’ll address that in an upcoming blog).

If listening is such a big deal, why isn’t everybody talking about it? Well, they are as it turns out. Just Google “listening” and on any given day 23 million+ sites will be listed. Seems like most of the logged on world has something to say about listening.

This begs the question: what happens if we aren’t listened to? I asked a dozen professional facilitators this question and their answers were fascinating. Here’s a snapshot of what they reckon happens if a person isn’t listened to:

• We feel disempowered, under-valued, rejected. It can lead to depression
• It affects our identify, who we believe ourselves to be. We lose confidence
• We withdraw or we might attack someone
• We disconnect from others and ourselves
• We become stressed. It can make us (passive)-aggressive

If you have ever not been listened to (ignored, essentially), you know how it feels. Recall a time when someone didn’t listen to you. Did it make you feel disconnected from them? Make you want to withdraw, or attack? Did you feel rejected or that you weren’t important enough to be given their full attention, maybe even angry?

If not being listened to can cause you to feel depressed, can erode your sense of who you are and can make you feel disconnected from others… this must mean that being listened to is pretty powerful, right? John Spiegel on the website monkeysee.com talks about the magic that happens when we are listened to. “if you want to make a connection with a person… if you want to shift the way they are approaching a topic, listening by far is the most powerful tool…. it’s a special kind of listening where you give full attention, where you don’t break in with your own story, where you don’t analyse… or give them advice. There’s something about that, the way human beings are wired, that it unlocks this great intelligence that all of us has”.

We have devoted this website to the art of listening and the power of being listened to. We know how important it is to be listened to. The sense of validation and empowerment that comes with feeling listened to. We know what happens when you get to hear your own wisdom and solve your own problems. And it’s something good, something magical, something powerful.

I invite you to download the video chapters and check it out for yourself.  Let me know how you find it – I’m interested.  And I’m listening