Listening Now Blog

Let’s talk a little about some of the most important listening you will ever do:  listening to yourself.  We know it’s important but in our busy busy lives, who has time to listen to themselves, I mean really listen?  Listening to yourself has become a luxury, something that if we had more time, we’d do it more often, right?  But we don’t.  Listening to yourself has become associated with time-rich, ernest people striving for enlightement, and who quite possibly separate before they recycle and even have time to cultivate worm farms and develop compost heaps.  No disrespect to worm farmers or compost heap developers. But who has time for all that?   So when I hear of a real life busy person tell me about how they’ve done it and what a difference listening to themselves has made to their life, it blips my radar.  Now you have my attention.  That happened to me recently.  Before I get to that, let me tell you about Michelle.

The hardest form of listening. Michelle Russell is a new online friend and I invite you to check out her online creation, Practice Makes Imperfect.  She’s funny and real and I don’t think she has a worm farm.  We’ve been talking about the importance of listening to yourself.  Michelle suggests that maybe it’s the hardest form of listening.   Particularly if you are a recovering perfectionist, which is the part of all of us that Michelle writes to. What trips many of us up is a fear of not doing things perfectly, whether that’s our own or someone else’s view of what perfect is.  

Me? Perfectionism?  Ha! I never thought I had an issue with perfectionism.  I wouldn’t say I’m a “good enough is near enough” kinda person, but I would say that I’m efficient at finding the straightest line to the end point.  What I’ve realised from reading Michelle’s outstanding content is that perfectionism is defined in many different ways.  My own version of perfectionism is about getting everything on my To Do list done, and when I don’t, I feel some form of tension (and conversely, when I do finish everything, I feel some sense of completion).  Awareness precedes choice.  That awareness, that I am fostering my own version of perfectionism, has brought me to a point where I can choose.   Which leads me to Mike Shur. 

Listening “from nothing”.  Mike has kindly agreed to let me share with you his own recent experiences with listening to himself.  Mike is funny and real and he doesn’t have a worm farm either (although he does live in northern California).  Mike was telling me about a recent experience where he got to truly listen to himself.  It was a powerful read.  Deep without being heavy.  Real without being reality-show.  Thank you Mike for letting me share this part of your story with others:

Waking up. “You asked about the listening/communications course that I did that had such a profound effect on me and woke me up to what true listening is.  It was a profound weekend seminar of self-exploration and listening to myself.  There was lots of emotional release (i.e. crying) on my part as I realized how I had been cutting myself off from my family, my own power, and letting the feeling of “not belonging here” keep me from the people I loved, the power of myself, and just enjoying and sharing fully in life.

It awakened me to being able to speak and listen “from nothing”.  That is, without preconceptions, expectations, “already always listening” (as in “oh, I know what this person is going to say so just get on with it”).  Really connecting and deep stuff for me.  It’s very much a practice even after the “a-ha!” moment to stay “at nothing” and speak from the deepest part of myself and listen from the stillest part of myself”. 

I need a bigger box! “And so after the class and reconnecting with ME, this very same Mike Shur who I had been putting into a smaller and smaller box to avoid the world that either cast him out or demanded too much, I began to see the intimate profundity of “I’m Listening Now”.  Because, in fact, I began listening, for the first time in a long time, to MYSELF and allowing what I was hearing to enter my consciousness.  Which for me is a step on the path towards expressing myself again and not just for the benefit of some goal like getting a job, or getting a good grade, but for the sheer pleasure of hearing what my Self was saying and through this being able to listen to the voice of God (grandiose but true) at it came through all the people around me and from the sunsets,  fellow motorists and ‘impediments’ on the way to my dreams. 

New listening.  This new listening is allowing me to hear and be more than I have been in a long time.  It’s also making me less afraid and feel more alive.  Feeling both ecstatic at the truth of the world and physically lighter as I make my way through the world.  I get “I’m Listening Now” better and I too am listening now. . .finally, again. . .at long last”

Thanks Mike.  Thanks Michelle.  

And you?  This week, pay attention to how much, or little, you listen to yourself.  Observe, but don’t assess or judge.  This isn’t a test and there’s certainly no way to fail.  In the next few weeks, we’ll come back to this rich topic and explore it from other persectives (like: ways in which you can listen to yourself, you know, practical stuff).   Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts and feelings about listening to yourself.  I’m interested, and I’m listening.