Listening Now Blog

When we first talked about listening to yourself, we mentioned perfectionism and how its too high a price to pay.  We talked about awareness preceding choice.  We heard from Mike and his awakening into listening to himself and needing a bigger box for that listened-to self. 

Today, I’d like to share some ideas I’ve gathered about how you can listen more to yourself.  You know, practical stuff that you can apply if you like.   Even if you already have a daily practice for listening to yourself, you might find inspiration in these ideas. And if listening to yourself is not currently a part of your daily routine, you might find one or two of these are easily incorporated:

1. Exercise.   We live in this thing called the human body.  So far, scientists are yet to find someone living in something else.  We all have one, and are in varying states of happiness about our bodies (some days I’m not on speaking terms with mine).  When we move our body, at a very fundamental and powerful level, we’re connecting with ourselves.  For those of us who have this idea that listening to ourselves has somehow got to be a struggle, or something complex, or something that requires striving and straining, moving our bodies may seem  too simplistic.  This has got to be hard, right, this listening to myself thing?  

People who use exercise as their daily getting-in-touch-with-myself method say that’s over-complicating it –  it’s powerful because it’s so simple.  And this is the #1 way that they listen to themselves.  Even if you aren’t really into physical fitness, a 20 minute walk every day is something most of us can incorporate and benefit from. 

2. Be still. And quiet.  I heard about this idea from Elizabeth Lesser, the author of Broken Open.  Elizabeth suggests that you take one minute at the beginning of your day (preferrably) and just sit still.  One minute, that’s all.  She suggests that you increase that time by one minute every day, which I also like.  But 60 seconds of “just sitting” or “just being” works too.  Anyone can find 60 seconds in a day, right? 

The trick about the Be Still and Quiet thing is to let your mind drift and have an empty head for that minute.  You’re not trying to do anything.  That’s the beauty of it.  What happens when you sit still and be calm and clear your mind as much as you can is this:  your brain waves slow down.  And when your brain waves are slower, you enter into a more connected and creative state. So when you do move into action, you’ve somehow compressed the timeframe for creative or productive ideas to reach the surface.  I do this in the mornings sometimes.  I’ll lie in bed for an extra 5 or 10 minutes, often with a glazed look on my face, seemingly doing nothing except staring into space (my cat and I have the same facial expression during this time).  I’ve worked out that this is potent time for me.  When I get up, my Here To There time is reduced and I get stuff done zippity quick.  Good stuff, too (usually).

3. Writing.  The transformative power of writing is well documented and understood.  But what we’re talking about here is a particular form of writing.  This is writing only for yourself, and you can say anything.  No-one but you is ever going to read what you write.  There’s two forms of writing that seem to work, with the intention of listening to yourself:

• The first is stream of consciousness writing – the output is literally whatever comes out of the end of your pen.  This is the kind of writing that Julia Cameron in The Artists Way suggests, where she asks you to write your “three pages” when you first get up in the morning.  Just open your journal, pick up your pen, and write.  What do you write? Whatever comes out.
•  The second is guided writing, where you are responding to a set of questions or prompts.  This is the kind of writing that we here at I’m Listening Now suggest, as do other authors like Leanne Cusumano Roque in her weekly meditation book Live Light.  This kind of writing is easier for some people, and for others it feels more productive and useful somehow.

4. Have a shower.  I went back and forth about whether I should include this one, as it’s a bit left field.  It just rings true for so many people that I decided to keep it in.  There’s something about rooms with plumbing that seem to create a space for people to listen to themselves.  I’m not being flippant here.  When we go into rooms with plumbing, most of us have a set of specific and limited expectations about what the visit will, er, produce, and it’s usually not “I’ll get an idea on how to finish this proposal” or “I’ll know how to fix that problem I’ve been grappling with all week” or “I’ll be inspired with just the right words to talk with so-and-so”. 

But that’s often what happens, isn’t it?  We don’t put any pressure on ourselves, we let our minds relax and drift.  And somehow, as if by magic, we get great ideas when we’re in rooms with plumbing. 

5. Relax and let the answer come to you.  I’ve included this one as a listening to yourself tip because sometimes ‘the answer’ seems just outside our reach, and the more we strive to catch it, the more elusive it becomes.  One of the ways you can listen to yourself is to tune out for a while, and let the answer appear.  No striving, no coaxing, no sweat.  

In Michael Neil’s weekly inspiration, he quotes Dr Robert Holden as saying:  “In many ways, the ultimate psychotherapy is simply to relax about things“.  Ok, so we’re not going for a psychotherapeutic approach here, but the message is clear.  Sometimes the best way to hear your own wisdom is to surrender.  There’s also this fabulous Carl Jung quote: “We don’t really heal anything.  We simply let it go”.  And how do we relax and let things go?  Ah, that’s the question, isn’t it?   Eckhart Tolle says that you let it go by letting it go.  A tautological statement that is so profound that I don’t quite understand it.  As much as I love Eckart Tolle’s work, that statement doesn’t really help me know how to do it.  

Here’s one way I’ve worked out to let something go, let it drift, for a while, rather than trying to hunt ‘the answer’ down.  It’s a technique that parents of small children have been using for centuries.  It’s called diversion.  

• Diversion.  If you’re tense and upset about something and desperately digging for an answer that just isn’t coming, go and do something else.  Leave it alone for now. Go for a quick short walk, get up and make a cup of coffee, have a quick stretch, phone a friend, or stop altogether and watch a movie or read a novel – something that captures your attention and is out of your usual pattern.  Often the sillier or more outlandish the diversion, the better.  We’re not intentionally trying to exercise the mind here.  This is not a 10-kilometre run, this is playing on the jungle gym, ok?  Don’t try to stop thinking about the thing.  Just do something else, preferably something fun. Diversion works.  ‘The answer’ will often pop up when you least expect it.  Maybe it’ll be during the scene where the heroine is on the bridge, dripping wet in the pouring rain and a taxi pulls up and….. well, who knows when it’ll appear.  That’s the point.  But whenever ‘the answer’ appears, you’re ok. 

This week, play around with one or two of these ways of listening to yourself.  Or come up with a method of your own devising.  Drop me a line and let me know how you got on.  I’m interested.  And I’m listening.