Listening Now Blog

We’re blessed to have a guest post today by Remarkable Stacey Curnow.  Stacey has turned her life’s work into her life’s passion.  She is a practising midwife and she also coaches others to give birth to a life they love.  When Stacey and I were talking recently about the power and magic of listening, Stacey shared a fascinating perspective about listening.   It builds on an idea I started in this post about being in your body and expands that idea.

I hope you enjoy this guest post by Stacey Curnow!

My most trusted advisor.

My body is my most trusted advisor.  It assimilates information from the Universe that I can’t understand at first. I know the Universe wants my best life, but sometimes I don’t heed its advice – sometimes I don’t even hear it.

Pebbles or brick walls? Life sends you messages – first it will put a pebble in your path, then a rock, and then a brick wall. If I don’t hear the plink of the pebble, the rock shows up – usually as a bodily symptom. I pay attention because I really want to avoid hitting that brick wall.

If I ignore my body’s messages, it’s capable of great drama. I’ve seen my body produce some Oscar-worthy performances.

I work as a nurse-midwife in a hospital. I consult with physicians when I care for women who are considered high-risk.  Occasionally I don’t agree with the physician’s plan for managing the case.  One night I told a doctor that I was disinclined to follow his plan and he responded by saying, “That’s why I’m here, to tell you what to do.”

I knew the doctor’s plan was not going to cause harm and I didn’t want further conflict, so I followed his orders. Within a few hours I lost my voice. My throat hurt and I couldn’t speak above a whisper.

What is this telling me? When I got home I looked up laryngitis in Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.  To me, this book provides clues to understanding the messages underlying an illness or imbalance in your body. If you decipher these messages and, more importantly, act on them by changing your thinking, you will improve your life.  This tunes me into my most trusted advisor.

For laryngitis she writes that the probable cause is “So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.” I was struck by the truth of this: I was mad. I had been afraid to speak up to the doctor. And I resented that he didn’t seem to value my expertise. 

The new thought pattern she offers is “I am free to ask for what I want. It is safe to express myself. I am at peace.” I applied this new thought to my mind like a healing balm and my voice returned quickly after that.

The affirmation also helped me gain insight into the fact that I don’t need to compel others, in this case the doctor, to agree with me or even to see my side. All I can do is use my best judgment and present a plan of care. And trust that all is well.

Valuing me. For me, being at peace means that my worth is not predicated on others valuing me. I value me. Since that epiphany I’ve had other differences of opinion with my physician colleagues but I haven’t had that sense that my value as a practitioner was diminished. And I’ve never lost my voice again.

Insomnia. Many of my coaching clients are women in their middle years and a common issue is insomnia. We all know that there are lots of suggestions for how to improve your sleep through better habits – like eliminating caffeine, increasing magnesium, exercise, routine bedtimes and getting acupuncture. All of these strategies address the hormonal changes that come with menopause.

But insomnia is often a way our body clues us into a deeper truth about ourselves. Christiane Northrup, M.D., in her excellent “The Wisdom of Menopause,” writes that insomnia and fatigue are frequently “the result of unprocessed and unresolved emotions such as anger, sadness, or anxiety,” which accompany the enormous changes of midlife.

She encourages her readers to identify the emotions that challenge them and look for their underlying meanings. Are you anxious about a daughter getting into her preferred college? Do you feel guilty about the things haven’t gotten done in a day? Do you feel resentful that everything seems to depend on you?

Louise Hay’s affirmation for insomnia is “I lovingly release the day and slip into peaceful sleep, knowing tomorrow will take care of itself.” When you have good sleep hygiene, when you address the probable causes — and when you release the negative emotions that occupy your waking life—you will, most likely, find yourself able to sleep like a baby.

You don’t need a copy of Louise Hay’s or Christiane Northrup’s books (although I highly recommend them!) because all you need to know is that if you ignore the wisdom available to you, your body can create a painful drama.

On the other hand, when you know that you are worthy of love and respect and that you can have a life filled with health, happiness, connection and joy – you listen to the wisdom from your body and you learn to trust it.

Do you think your body may be trying to tell you something right now?  Are you willing to listen?   Tell us in the comments

 About the Author: Stacey Curnow works as a certified nurse-midwife in North Carolina. She is the founder of Midwife for Your Life, a website, blog and series of coaching programs designed to help women give birth to a life they love.

Many of her articles have been published in print magazines and online. You can find out more about her illustrated children’s book, Ravenna here, and order it here.  Stacey lives in Asheville, North Carolina with her husband, young son, Ruby the wonder chicken, and Ruby’s sidekick, Spencer the wonder dog.