Listening Now Blog

There’s listening to others.  Sure, we need to do that – we get important data from others.  But if that’s all we do, then we’re missing sometimes the most important source of data. 

Then there’s listening to yourself.  I asked 12 inspiring entrepreneurs about a time when they really listened to themselves, and that listening profoundly impacted their lives.  Here’s what they told me:

Cate Brubaker.  When I was 16 I spent a year living with a German family. The first few months I was terribly homesick and cried every day. When I arranged to return home I initially felt relieved.  Then, a week before my flight home, I had a dream that changed my life: I stepped off the plane into my mom’s arms and felt the most profound regret that I’d given up and gone home. When I woke up the next morning it was stunningly clear that I should stay. I’m so glad that I listened to myself and stayed the entire year. Who I am today, personally and professionally, was defined by that challenging yet amazing year in Germany.

Annabel Candy. When I left university I worked on a kibbutz in Israel. Unfortunately, it didn’t offer the kind of experience I was looking for. Sometimes you could hear bombs dropping in the Lebanon 10km away and I worked in the industrial kitchen. Temperature soared outside but inside it was hellish. Steamy and putrid. I was determined to stick it out but my heart kept telling me to leave and travel to Egypt. Finally, I listened. I was only 23 but ended up meeting my future husband and the father of my three kids there in the Sinai by the Red Sea.

Stacey Curnow. A few years ago I was tired of finding fault with what was happening in my life. I decided to take a “no excuses” approach: I would no longer criticize, complain, or in any other way demand that circumstances or others change so that I could be happy. I would accept reality and love what is. Of course, I would still listen to my thoughts and feelings and express my desires and ask for help. I thought it would be hard, but it wasn’t. I made the choice to be truly happy. And I can honestly say that I am.

Birdy Diamond.I’d just come home from the hospital after my bout of necrotizing fasciitis, the ‘flesh-eating’ disease.  Everyone, it seemed, both inside & outside of medicine, was bugging me to apply for disability.  But I didn’t. There was this voice in the back of my head that said if I did that, it would be taking on the label permanently, which I SO did not want to do. That determination to get past it all was what had sustained me through the pain, the surgeries, and all the stuff of a major illness. I’m so glad I’ve listened. It’s made life harder, since it’s not a good idea for me to work outside of the home, but it’s left open so many possibilities that I really feel would have been closed for me if I’d taken the other road.

Jenny Jacobs.  In late 2005, my life changed.  Due to unemployment, anxiety and depression I had hit rock bottom. In March 2006, I was lying in bed and I heard a voice inside me say “why not start a magazine specifically targeted to women over 40?”  It was that voice that got me out of bed and made me come alive again.  For the next 3 months I was going to bed around 2 – 3am and rising early to research and plan. I had never been involved in the magazine industry, and I had no qualifications in writing or editing.  I had $10 in my bank account but a lot of faith and courage.  The first edition of ‘Finally at 40 Magazine’ was launched in September 2006. 

 Larry Keltto.  December 31, 1987. I was 24 and halfway through my law-school studies, on holiday break.  I was skiing in Colorado, and we were on our last trip down the mountain. Suddenly, I was in the middle of a “quadruple-black-diamond run,” or something. I managed to stop. The slope looked like a 180-degree drop, and there was no other way down the mountain. I stood there, immobilised with fear, contemplating my mortality.  During that interval, I listened to a voice that had been saying for months: “Leave law school.” I promised:  if I get to the bottom of the mountain alive, I am going to leave law school and go into journalism. I made it down the mountain, and two months later I was sitting at a desk in a newsroom—hardly believing that I was being paid to write. More than 22 years have passed and much has changed. But I still get paid to write. Paid to write!

Cathryn Lloyd. My monkey mind plays with me, undermines me, and can be my friend when I rein it in.  I realise my ‘best’ listening happens when I catch my monkey mind, acknowledge it and then focus on my breath.  The idle chitchat lessens and I begin to have a real conversation with myself.  I can do this at any time if I am aware and some of my most aware times are when I swim and do yoga.  For the first few laps or moments in yoga I am not integrated…body and mind are separate…and then I settle into the breath, the movements and I am listening…deeply…to me. My head clears – I give it a holiday.  I have listened and reconnected with myself.

Katie Mack.  Three years after a life changing tragedy, turmoil was building inside of me and I couldn’t figure out what my brain was trying to tell me. One morning I woke up with a profound idea. It dawned on me that I could actually choose what direction my life was going to go in. For three years, I focused only on getting through each day without my own pity party and without playing the victim. I felt something inside of me shift and my gut was telling me that I needed to focus on my future. I had all the power in the world to make my own choices in life – and my first choice was to start taking care of myself properly. And that was the origin of Five Minutes For You.  

Blair Martin. Picture it! Brisbane. September 2005. One recently broken hearted, overweight, unfit, rapidly middle ageing, struggling actor. He does a freebie for a commercial radio station to promote the opening of the new Story Bridge Adventure Climb. They offer him a spot on the very first climb team. He tells them, “I’ll think about it…” knowing he is petrified of heights. Before he has put down the phone, his inner voice says “You know you have to do this.” And he does. And it changes his life – he becomes happy, fit (even “buff”), career successful and empowered.  I am that man.

Andy O’Malley. My youngest brother Marcus died of skin cancer three years ago this August. He was 36 years old. I have experienced grief and loss. Sometimes the feelings were like the shallow ripples that wash against my ankles, a reminder of the sea change that occurred in our lives. Sometimes the feelings overwhelmed me like a tsunami, pulling me out to sea.  Only recently when I stopped to listen did I hear my unspoken and unconscious conclusion: I was waiting to die before my time. Life was happening but I was a passenger waiting to be tossed overboard. This realisation was like waking from a dream; what was I thinking?  When I listened and truly heard these thoughts I was able to challenge them and embark again on the life’s journey with renewed purpose.

Pam Rechel. When I received the request to write about listening to myself, I couldn’t respond.  I wasn’t ready.  I decided to sleep on it.  The next day as I responded, my first response was “no, I want to be focusing a new part of business”.  As I typed to decline, I realized during my whole process I had been listening.  I listened not to respond right away and when I wanted to focus on my business.  The best part is that Jill’s offer to include a web link may lead to new interest in Accountability, which is just what I want. 

Jen Waak.  Two years ago I made the decision to leave management consulting  and take a job with a small fitness education company. It meant a complete change in lifestyle, a 50% pay cut, and leaving my corporate comfort zone far behind me. But I knew I had to do it. I remember making the decision with tears in my eyes, saying to a friend, “If I don’t give this a go I will regret it forever.” Today, I still frequently have tears in my eyes, but it’s from the hugs and thank you’s from my clients as their lives are changed as the result of the work we are doing together. 

What about you?  When was a time you listened to yourself and it profoundly impacted your thinking, your feelings, your life?  Maybe you need to be doing a bit of it right now?  Drop me a line and let me know – I’m interested, and I’m listening.

And let me know if you like this format (the One Question Interview).  It was a priviledge to receive these responses, and I’d be delighted to do more of it if you like it.  Please let me know, including if you’d like to be interviewed or if there’s someone else you know whom I should ask.

And if you’ve got a problem that’s too important for you not to listen to yourself about, download our audio or video products today.